top of page

Signs that a child may have been sexually abused

 If you notice something that isn’t right or someone in a child’s life is making you uncomfortable—even if you can’t put your finger on why—it’s important to trust your gut, continue to watch for signs of abuse, and talk to the child who may be experiencing abuse in age-appropriate ways.

Warning signs:

Physical signs:

Behavioral signs:

  • Excessive talk or knowledge of sexual topics

  • Keeping secrets

  • Not wanting to be left alone with certain people, especially if this is a new behavior

  • Regressive behaviors , such as thumb sucking or bedwetting

  • Overly compliant 

  • Sexual behavior that is inappropriate for the child’s age

  • Spending an unusual amount of time alone

  • Trying to avoid removing clothing to change or bathe

Emotional signs:

  • Change in eating habits

  • Change in mood or personality, such as increased aggression

  • Decrease in confidence or self-image

  • Excessive worry or fearfulness

  • Increase in unexplained health problems such as stomach aches and headaches

  • Loss or decrease in interest in school, activities, and friends

  • Nightmares or fear of being alone at night

  • Self-harming behaviors

​

The most important thing to keep in mind when looking for signs of child sexual abuse is to keep an eye on sudden changes in behavior. Trust your gut and don’t ignore your feelings if something seems off. If a child tells you that someone makes them uncomfortable, even if they can’t tell you anything specific, listen.

Signs that an adult may be hurting a child

Keeping children safe can be challenging because many perpetrators who sexually abuse children are in positions of trust—93 percent of child sexual assault victims know the perpetrator. This includes family members, members of faith communities, coaches, teachers, and other helping professionals.

 

Be cautious of an adult who spend time with children and exhibits the following behaviors:

  • Does not respect boundaries or listen when someone tells them “no”

  • Engages in touching that a child or child’s parents have indicated is unwanted

  • Tries to be a child’s friend rather than filling an adult role in the child’s life

  • Does not seem to have age-appropriate relationships

  • Talks with children about their personal problems or relationships

  • Spends time alone with children outside of their role in the child’s life or makes up excuses to be alone with the child

  • Expresses unusual interest in child’s sexual development, such as commenting on sexual characteristics or sexualizing normal behaviors

  • Gives a child gifts without occasion or reason

  • Spends a lot of time with your child or another child you know

  • Restricts a child’s access to other adults

Taking action isn’t easy, but it’s important

It’s not always easy to identify child sexual abuse—and it can be even more challenging to step in if you suspect something isn’t right. Keeping a child away from the perpetrator may mean major changes in your own life, even if you are outside of the child’s family.

​

If something seems off, pay attention to that feeling and look into it further. If a child tells you that someone makes them uncomfortable, even if they can’t tell you anything specific, listen. Talk to someone who can help you figure out if this is something that must be reported, such as a staff member from your local sexual assault service provider. In the meantime, if you are the parent or have influence over the child’s schedule, avoid putting the child in a potentially unsafe situation.

​

Remember, you are not alone. If you suspect a child in your life may be experiencing sexual abuse, you can talk to someone who is trained to help. 

bottom of page