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How To Declare “No More Secrets!” In Your Family
(Based on a True Story)
By: Dr. Kaye Smith
“Granny…daddy, raped me…” These were the dreadful words one ReClaimer, Deloris, heard from her 9-year-old granddaughter. No one wants to ever receive that phone call from their precious loved one, but Deloris did and this is her story.
I met Deloris in ReClaim-Class Two. She told me how she was viciously raped on several occasions by more than one perpetrator. Abuse went on in her family for years and no one spoke up about it. No one protected the innocence of the young children and women in her family.
Deloris was silent for years, until ReClaim. Deloris was 58 years old the first time she ever told anyone she was abused.
My heart ached for her. She lived with this painful secret of the evil done to her for over 50 years. Deloris had no one to turn to and no one who would listen to her. As she told her story, tears rolled down her face and her lips quivered while she tried to find the words to describe all the repulsive acts that happened to her.
I took her through the ReClaim Method of Healing, reiterating how innocent she was and that she should have been protected. I properly took her through the steps to overcome the anger and rage built up on the inside of her. Through this process she learned how to speak up for herself and find her voice again. By the end of the program, Deloris had reclaimed every aspect of her life. She boldly stood before her classmates and cried out, “No more secrets! There will be no more secrets in my family!”
Deloris took the information she learned in ReClaim and educated her family members about sexual abuse encouraging her daughters and grandchildren to never keep secrets; especially secrets about sexual abuse. She expressed her love for them and how she would do everything she could to protect them giving them a safe place to fall. They understood her heart concerning reporting sexual abuse and then one fateful night came.
“Hello? Hello? Juliette is that you sweetie?” Deloris heard Juliette crying, “Yes, granny…it’s, it’s me…I’m so sorry, Granny…I couldn’t stop him.” Deloris’ heart beats faster as she sits up in her bed, “What sweetie? What did he do to you? Who?” Juliette whispered, “Granny, daddy raped me.” Deloris’ ears almost went numb.
When Deloris was able to meet up with Juliette, she recalled the information learned in ReClaim and carefully asked her questions and Juliette was able to articulate what happened to her as well as a 9-year-old could. She recounted that awful night when she was visiting her father out of town for the holidays. Juliette was asleep in her room when her father picked her up out of her bed and placed her in his bed. He quickly made his move and got on top of her. While raping her he called her disgusting names such as ‘whore’ and ‘bitch’ and when he was done, he quietly told her, “Now this is our little secret. Don’t you go tellin’ nobody.” He went to sleep that night thinking he would never get caught.
Juliette remembered the conversations her grandmother had with her concerning sexual abuse and how it should never be kept a secret. She recalled that her grandmother said she would believe her if she ever experienced this horrific act. Juliette knew that if she told her grandmother that she would be understood and believed. So, she did. She told his dirty little secret. Juliette’s perpetrator is currently in jail awaiting trial for rape charges.
What would have happened if Deloris had not completed the ReClaim program and declared no more secrets? It is possible that her family would have kept the rape of her granddaughter a secret and the cycle would have continued. It is possible that Juliette would have hidden her pain deep down inside for years only to experience the great torment that all victims have when they do not have a safe place to fall. Deloris’ granddaughter would have grown up with dysfunctional relationships, feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and rage. Fortunately, this is not her ending.
Because Deloris was brave enough to reclaim her life and educate her family about sexual abuse, Juliette had the courage to report her biological father. Now, Juliette will receive the proper counseling needed for her situation. She will not grow up feeling incomplete, out of place or damaged. She will find her voice again. Not to mention, there is one less perverted child molester in the community.
Follow in Deloris’ footsteps, even if you have not been abused and talk to your family about sexual abuse. Visit ReClaim’s website and read the brochures about how to talk to your children about sexual abuse. Declare in your family, “No more secrets!”